Why we shouldn't complain?

This Pandemic has wreaked havoc in everyone’s lives. Who would have wondered that there would come a time when there would be a shortage of oxygen & deathbeds?! Unabated uncertainty has become a novel norm. Students have gone into mental depression and anxiety since their academics and school/college life have been in a turbulent phase for a very long interval now. They haven’t met their friends or got an opportunity to socialize. A fixed routine of attending online classes and staying locked indoors at an age when students interact with new people, experience new things every day, discover opportunities, can indeed raise cortisol (stress hormone) in the body. In such chaos, complaining is natural. 

I am currently pursuing mechanical engineering (3rd year). I did my entire 3rd year & a bit of 2nd year through online classes. 3rd year is the year when “real engineering” gains pace since it is the time when students work on projects, do internships, start getting worked on their resumes, build their LinkedIn profiles and discover career options. Many in my batch are tensed about their future since we hardly have any practical knowledge (which is a must for an engineer) of our domain, and we wonder if in such circumstances any good placement offers would come our way. Life is unpredictable but when you get an uninterrupted session of unpredictability, it bedevils you.

Since childhood, I have been this kid who plans everything and then works accordingly. Pandemic was a massive earthquake for me since there was a wave of uncertainty for a kid who liked things in a “planned” way. Being overwhelmed about my future, I went through a “low” phase in this period. First, I did complain about “Why is this happening to me? I was all set for my future.” At that point, I didn’t think of other students who were going through similar circumstances or even worse. The technical recession in our country started got me overthinking about my future employment. I started getting worried if I would be able to secure a decent livelihood or even sustain the one which my parents have bestowed me with? I couldn’t figure out how I (“planned kid”) landed in this mishmash. My self-confidence had nosedived. 

However, now when I look back upon my “period of randomness”, I consider myself blessed to experience it at the beginning of my 20s. This phase has been a book of learnings for me. I started meditating. I read books, watched videos, heard podcasts, in my quest to know the purpose of life. I learnt that the 20s is the period of discovering yourself and not getting settled in your comfort zone. I moved from being too rigid to being flexible about my life. Rather than getting worried about my future or disappointed about my past, I have started seizing the day. I started designing my habits and updating my beliefs in lieu of working towards a goal and clinging my happiness to it. I realised that the essence of life is not in what we want to become but who we want to become? It’s your identity, & not outcomes, which matters more. 

“Accept things, the way they are” is a phrase that we often get to hear from our well-wishers. We mostly tend to take this (& most life learnings) as a usual phrase, ignoring its cardinality to lead a happy life. I cognized its significance in my low phase. I had complained about the circumstances when the pandemic flooded my plans. The moment you crib, your energy which should have been utilised looking for solutions, instead gets diverted in blaming the situation. Gradually it becomes a habit, and later a part of your identity. You hardly take notice of this insidious habit, but it makes you think negative even in the most positive situation. You might even find yourself surrounded by luxuries, but still cribbing since you have become used to it. 

One fine morning, I found an old uncle (70s) on his morning walk with a fractured hand. When I asked that it might have hurt a lot, he replied with a smile, “Kuch nahi hua beta. Yeh sab toh life mein hota rehta hai.” At such an age, his positive outlook towards life dazzled me. You might find a person much younger than him complain about it if asked the same question. 

“Accepting things, the way they are” is exactly what Phunsukh Wangdu was trying to tell us through his life mantra of “All is well” in 3 idiots. By the way, I would recommend every reader (especially students) who are reading this piece watch that phenomenal movie again. You learn life-changing lessons from such movies with age. I would also recommend every reader to read the book “Atomic Habits”. It’s a perfect guide for everyone who is trying to break bad habits & build good ones.

Whenever a situation jolts you, instead of complaining about it, choose how are you going to respond to it. Our response is the only thing which we have authority upon. Either you can crib or you can look for solutions. Looking for solutions doesn’t necessarily guarantee that you might even find one, but cribbing will not only not help you with solutions but also harm your identity. Therefore, look for solutions without expectations. If you don’t find them, then it’s totally fine. Failure is not the opposite of success, but a part of it. At least in the process, we might learn something new about ourselves. 

“Whatever happens, happens for a reason.” You might find this phrase a little bit cliché or call it nonsense (as I earlier did) but trust me, this is where our key to happiness lies. It doesn't mean sitting on the couch all day long and not taking any action, it simply means accept life as it comes, and don't try to force things to happen. Good things take time. Once we make it a habit to look for positive in what others might see as a negative situation, we would be able to reach new milestones every day!