Homecoming

If you are someone living away from your home, you might be familiar with this feeling. You yearn to go home and only once you reach, you realize you don’t miss home but the feeling (vo “ghar vaali feeling”).

The month of July was all about this feeling - Ghar se Dur, par Feeling ke Kareeb!

I feel one of the major signs of adulting is realizing that “Ghar” isn’t a physical entity. You get the feeling when you are around your coterie; having your comfort food; visiting those places where you spent your childhood. 

The whole month I did things that either reminded me of Home – Shopping from Army Canteen; or felt like home - working from office feels like working from home! All thanks to the wonderful people I work with - Bangalore has started to feel like home.

Minimalism

For all those who have been living far from their home in a city that’s new to them, we hardly make an effort to seek permanence there. We live in makeshift homes that we will apparently leave when a better opportunity comes by; just like we did last time. 

I have been living alone for the past 2 years now. I wasn’t looking for a “Ghar” when I moved to Bangalore from Hyderabad last year; all I needed was a place to sleep. No wonder I spent my first month in the city staying in a hostel. The definition of house that we learnt as kids - a shelter for human habitation that protects from torrential rain, scorching heat & chilly winters - resonated with me very well until recently. I had spent a year and a half in Hyderabad shifting PGs having the same belief that eventually I would leave. Setting up a kitchen, and buying furniture - Knowing my emotionality very well, I always felt that doing these things would hold me back. Also, since I have been striving to achieve minimalism, all I needed was a bed & a shelf for clothes.

My new company in Bangalore did offer me food. & thanks to my work shift - it covered both lunch & dinner. Not being dependent on PG food nudged me to move to a flat instead. However, even then, like every other “ghar se dur employee”, I used to look out for long weekends on the calendar to escape & go home. 

Independence 

This all changed in July. My parents came to my place on my Birthday in June. Paapa left early due to his work obligations, but Mumma stayed longer. For 2 years, I had gotten used to living alone to the extent that I forgot how it would be to share the place with someone. Neither did I have a gas connection nor the ingredients to make tea. Since I am not a regular consumer of caffeinated beverages, Café hopping on weekends used to work for me. Of course, spending ₹300-500 on coffee & ordering food on weekends didn’t seem logical to Mumma.

Ghar ki pehli chai

Little did I know that Mumma had come to Bangalore intending to make me independent of Swiggy/Zomato. In her presence, the transformation of my "Shelter" to "Ghar" was underway. Hailing from an army background, the Army canteen comes to mind whenever we think of buying necessities. Bought basic utensils, groceries & induction stove from there. In my attempt to be minimalistic, I hadn’t even taken the effort to buy curtains for my room. 

The first step towards independence was to learn cooking - real food & not Maggi. I have learnt to cook my comfort food now - Khichdi & aloo chokha (mashed potatoes). The best part about eating food cooked by your own self is that you get to choose what goes inside the making of it. So, the health metric is in our hands.

Saturday rituals

That one cousin

Remember that one cousin/friend with whom attachment was to the extent that we started sulking when it was time for them to leave? Kishu bhaiya was that one cousin for me. I remember crying out loud when it was time to depart from grandma's home after vacations got over.

We bonded after a very long time. Although residents of the same city now, we didn't get a chance to meet much. Living far from his home, he used to look out for opportunities to return to his home. & I am hardly a resident of Bangalore since I am mostly out of the city travelling to distant lands. Also, he lives in Whitefield & my home is in BTM - I guess that explains why we don't meet much.

Dichotomy between Duniya Dekhna and Ghar Waapsi

The most important thing in my life for the past 1 year has been travelling. Travel has become an intrinsic part of my life. I am on a trip every 2-3 weeks. & therefore Railway Stations & Airports feel like home. That feeling of boarding a flight the next day pumps me up so much.  

There is a duologue in the film Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani in which Bunny & Naina engage in a conversation that revolves around – Duniya Dekhna Vs Ghar Waapsi during their day trip in Udaipur. 

Bunny - Tum jaanti nahi ki kisi anjaan family ke saath baithke unki life story sunna kya hota hai? 

Naina - Aur tum jaante nahi apne puraane doston ke saath baithke, vahi puraane kisse dohraana kya hota hai?

I feel this dichotomy is beautiful - When you have travelled enough to realise that home is within. I travel to feed my curiosity about people from different places - their food, culture, religion, society. I want to see every corner of the world. But, in this last month, I became aware of things that make me feel at home. 

Shopping for Dream Trip